Help celebrate the recent name change for the Team Vitesse member formerly known as K2nees with an order of AnkCAFIBS - now autographed by Dr. K2.
12.3.10
Celebrate Dr. K2's achievement!
Right now, at this point in time, if you order more than a baker's dozen of Happy Lucky 88's new AnkCafib, you may be eligible for an amazing collector's trading card. HL88 has secured a humongous volume of these beautiful Cosmonaut Barbie trading cards. Suitable for framing or clipping to your spokes, the Cosmonaut Barbie will provide extreme pimping for your ride.
Help celebrate the recent name change for the Team Vitesse member formerly known as K2nees with an order of AnkCAFIBS - now autographed by Dr. K2.
Help celebrate the recent name change for the Team Vitesse member formerly known as K2nees with an order of AnkCAFIBS - now autographed by Dr. K2.
Team Vitesse Increases Brain Trust
The epic ups and downs of academic life have borne fruit for K2nees of Team Vitesse. The successful defence of his doctorate dissertation means that his new team handle shall be: Dr. K2. A heart felt congratulations goes out to Dr. K2 and his support staff which also recently boasted the addition of a PhD in Chemistry.
Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory is very interested in Dr. K2's thesis. They have reason to believe that the ungulate dropping model he has developed can be adapted to testing of their wondrous plywood products. Cellulose is cellulose as cellulose does after all. From all the staff at the cosmodrome, well done and strong work.
Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory is very interested in Dr. K2's thesis. They have reason to believe that the ungulate dropping model he has developed can be adapted to testing of their wondrous plywood products. Cellulose is cellulose as cellulose does after all. From all the staff at the cosmodrome, well done and strong work.
10.3.10
Introducing the ANKCAFIB
Seizing on unusually massive inventory levels of the CAFIB (Cold Arm Foundation Bracelet), Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory has confirmed its thrust to increase its market presence in bicycle accessories. HL88 is proud to introduce the CAFIB for your ankle. 
Similar to the original CAFIB, the AnkCAFIB possesses aerodynamic qualities heretofore unknown to the professional peleton. A unique combination of a patented gravel repulsion system and gravity power utilization system, the AnkCAFIB is a Happy Lucky 88 product that no cyclist worthy of the name will want to be without. Who among us has not found small pieces of gravel in our shoes after a long ride. Those minuscule annoyances are easily repelled by the AnkCAFIB.
More importantly, the AnkCAFIB uses the power of gravity to increase downward pedal force. As your piston-like legs churn, this device adds momentum and increases cadencity and cycling propensity. Stylish when coupled with the original CAFIB or as a stand alone accessory, the AnkCAFIB has been extensively field tested by Team Vitesse.
Lampo's encouraging remarks summarize the positive tone of all team members, "I love the look, feel and power I get from this piece of 3/4 inch plywood on my leg. The gravel repulsion is just a bonus. Finally gravity is working for me!"
8.3.10
Mechanicals Plague Gran Fondo
The Gran Fondo held recently was a great success if one ignored the mechanical incidents that dogged Team Vitesse. For those readers not familiar with the term Gran Fondo, it is an organized ride during which amateurs can rub elbows with the professionals on Team Vitesse. Some twit on Team Vitesse twittered a tweet to which no one but the team chirped. No matter; the weather was brilliant as Lampo Bianco, K2nees and h20 met at the designated launch area down by the river. LB and K2 rode cyclocross rigs equipped with knobby tyres. Attempting to gain a speed advantage on dry tarmac, h20 opted for near slick tyres which he cursed on every snow choked or ice laden section. The trio set off with great fanfare as employees of Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory lined the route. The employees happened to be searching for empty bottles and cans as part of a revenue generating initiative from HL88 management.
Once under steam, the Team Vitesse trio exchanged looks as well as bikes to test braking power during a discussion about the relative stopping power of v-brakes versus whatever brakes. While sitting on K2's tit, h20 made the beastly discovery that would cast a pall over the rest of the ride. After clipping in, h20 noticed a wobble in the tit's left pedal. The team reached the apogee of the ride when K2 discovered that his carbon fiber pedal arm had suffered catastrophic failure. There and then he vowed to switch to the plywood pedal arms currently under development at HL88. The 3 intrepid cyclists stood and marvelled at the problematic pedal when K2 discovered a puncture. With no team car within 1,500 kilometers, K2 was forced to repair the puncture himself.
Cooperation was the watch word on the ride back to team headquarters. K2 was designated the protected rider as he nursed his compromised tit. Closer to the the cosmodrome, h20 himself suffered a punctilious puncture. Due to operator error, he was unable to inflate a fresh tube. Race radio informed Lampo that he would have to carry on to retrieve the lunar module rover and return for h20. The last man standing, Lampo lit off like the rocket he is. Safely back at the cosmodrome over a Duvel, Lampo revelled in the fact that he was the only one who had not suffered a mechanical incident. This hubris will surely come back to haunt him.
The fondo was judged a success and will be repeated in the near future. Stay tuned for the next time the twits go out.
Once under steam, the Team Vitesse trio exchanged looks as well as bikes to test braking power during a discussion about the relative stopping power of v-brakes versus whatever brakes. While sitting on K2's tit, h20 made the beastly discovery that would cast a pall over the rest of the ride. After clipping in, h20 noticed a wobble in the tit's left pedal. The team reached the apogee of the ride when K2 discovered that his carbon fiber pedal arm had suffered catastrophic failure. There and then he vowed to switch to the plywood pedal arms currently under development at HL88. The 3 intrepid cyclists stood and marvelled at the problematic pedal when K2 discovered a puncture. With no team car within 1,500 kilometers, K2 was forced to repair the puncture himself.
Cooperation was the watch word on the ride back to team headquarters. K2 was designated the protected rider as he nursed his compromised tit. Closer to the the cosmodrome, h20 himself suffered a punctilious puncture. Due to operator error, he was unable to inflate a fresh tube. Race radio informed Lampo that he would have to carry on to retrieve the lunar module rover and return for h20. The last man standing, Lampo lit off like the rocket he is. Safely back at the cosmodrome over a Duvel, Lampo revelled in the fact that he was the only one who had not suffered a mechanical incident. This hubris will surely come back to haunt him.
The fondo was judged a success and will be repeated in the near future. Stay tuned for the next time the twits go out.
1.3.10
Inaugural Omloop het Johan
Doggedly following their manager's direction, riders from Team Vitesse partook of the parcours of the first Omloop het Johan. h20 received a telegram from the Omniscient One demanding that Team Vitesse go on a training ride. Physically weakened with knee problems caused by too much prayer, h20 was dubious about what laid ahead. Protected rider Lampo Bianco expected Johan to have organized traffic control but it was not to be. K2nees was unable to ride any of his stable of tits due to a nagging back injury caused an awkward lift of his thesis.
Into sleet, sun, wind and disgusting road conditions Lampo and h20 set off. Flushed with excitement the riders maintained a brisk tempo for the first 500 meters. They soon realized that they were alone without manager support. Lampo was very satisfied to have covered the 2.5 kilometer circuit in just under 2 hours. After thawing out his water bottles, h20 was full of praise for the Omloop het Johan. "There is nothing like riding past snow drifts on roads destroyed by frost heave with excruciating knee pain. Thank you Johan!", a jubilant h20 said.
Into sleet, sun, wind and disgusting road conditions Lampo and h20 set off. Flushed with excitement the riders maintained a brisk tempo for the first 500 meters. They soon realized that they were alone without manager support. Lampo was very satisfied to have covered the 2.5 kilometer circuit in just under 2 hours. After thawing out his water bottles, h20 was full of praise for the Omloop het Johan. "There is nothing like riding past snow drifts on roads destroyed by frost heave with excruciating knee pain. Thank you Johan!", a jubilant h20 said.
23.2.10
HL88's Millenium Motto
Another major rebranding and philosophy shift has occurred at Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory. After ignoring input from focus groups around the globe, applying Johan's pointless insolence, and rejecting the pleas of stakeholders, HL88 has chosen a definitive motto indicative of its world dominance in cycling product production.
"Creating problems for existing solutions"
shall be the maxim for the beloved sponsor of Team Vitesse. Seizing on and then convoluting one of Lampo Bianco's few coherent quotes, Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory immediately adopted this new adage. In its press release, HL88 management announced, "We are now the sharpest button in the drawer. HL88 will continue to rain on everyone's balloon."
"Creating problems for existing solutions"
shall be the maxim for the beloved sponsor of Team Vitesse. Seizing on and then convoluting one of Lampo Bianco's few coherent quotes, Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory immediately adopted this new adage. In its press release, HL88 management announced, "We are now the sharpest button in the drawer. HL88 will continue to rain on everyone's balloon."
22.2.10
Lung Capacity - Increasing Amplitude
Regular followers of this blog may remember the entry entitled "Increasing Lung Capacity the Lampo Way". Lampo has experienced improved levels of dizziness and has extended his coughing bouts after exercise - both signs of increased lung capacity. The key to his success lies in alternating between fags and stogies. When asked if there were any negative side effects, Lampo quipped "I am finding that my skin is dry." Leaping to his assistance the lab at Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory has developed "High Droll Eye Zing" cream. The vigour and brawn of this concoction requires that users derisk its shear power by mixing it with equal parts lard and wax for use in Jacuzzi tubs. Murmured Lampo through his putty coloured mask of ooze, "I love HL88 products! They create problems for solutions they already have."
16.2.10
Viva Velo Vitality
As is common during the winter season in Canada, the sport of cycling goes into hibernation. 
This year has been no exception with greater than usual snowfall and a commensurate plunge into the freezer. The effects on our sport are tangible during these frigid and 7 hour days, and the spirits of even the truest of champions can take a beating. So was this true for the renowned and celebrated victors of Happiness, the captains of perseverance, producers of velo-vitality....Happy Lucky 88 and it's media medium Team Vitesse.
Fans of the fabled team have had to endure the vacancy sign at the Hotel Happy, praying for any morsel of inspiration from its leaders. But now it can be announced that the ice is beginning to thaw, the rooms are clean and the beds turned down, as new life springs onto the cosmodromic blogosphere over the past few days. In fact, spokespeople for the people from the people's republic of HL88 indicate that the new Blog masthead invoke the World Championship rainbow colours. They do indeed. A symbolist might suggest that the image implies Olympic dreams as well. Shasta Shazaam! Either way, hope (and other stuff) floats, and sweat springs eternal....Vitesse and HL88 are ALIVE!
This year has been no exception with greater than usual snowfall and a commensurate plunge into the freezer. The effects on our sport are tangible during these frigid and 7 hour days, and the spirits of even the truest of champions can take a beating. So was this true for the renowned and celebrated victors of Happiness, the captains of perseverance, producers of velo-vitality....Happy Lucky 88 and it's media medium Team Vitesse.
Fans of the fabled team have had to endure the vacancy sign at the Hotel Happy, praying for any morsel of inspiration from its leaders. But now it can be announced that the ice is beginning to thaw, the rooms are clean and the beds turned down, as new life springs onto the cosmodromic blogosphere over the past few days. In fact, spokespeople for the people from the people's republic of HL88 indicate that the new Blog masthead invoke the World Championship rainbow colours. They do indeed. A symbolist might suggest that the image implies Olympic dreams as well. Shasta Shazaam! Either way, hope (and other stuff) floats, and sweat springs eternal....Vitesse and HL88 are ALIVE!
8.2.10
The Perils of Carbon Fiber
The current trend in bicycles and componentry has embraced carbon fiber as the saviour of cycling. Many hurtful and derogatory comments have been made about Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory's dogged determination and insistence on using plywood as its main construction material for its vast range of cycling products. It is an established fact that HL88 developed the current carbon fiber monocoque techniques 4 decades ago when the Manufactory was satisfying the world's insatiable demand for seat cushions. At that time management wisely decided to abandon carbon fiber construction, judging it to be too light and therfore too nebulous for use in cycling products.
HL88's semi-esoteric molecular release of their original carbon/plywood chain shows how the Manufactory was able to eliminate the weight constraints of carbon and capitalize on plywood momentum; momentum that continues to propel Team Vitesse to victory.
HL88's semi-esoteric molecular release of their original carbon/plywood chain shows how the Manufactory was able to eliminate the weight constraints of carbon and capitalize on plywood momentum; momentum that continues to propel Team Vitesse to victory.
5.2.10
Sneak Peek at HL88's HYPER-CYCLE
Innovative breakthroughs in cycling 
are as common as abandoned u-locks in western style conurbations. Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory has emerged from a long period of quietude to reveal select proprietary components of its new "Superior HYPER-CYCLE Ion Transit Equation" or SHITE. Shown below is a rear disc wheel with equationary spoke calculations integrated into the wheel structure. 
are as common as abandoned u-locks in western style conurbations. Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory has emerged from a long period of quietude to reveal select proprietary components of its new "Superior HYPER-CYCLE Ion Transit Equation" or SHITE. Shown below is a rear disc wheel with equationary spoke calculations integrated into the wheel structure. You can no doubt appreciate how Team Vitesse cycling success will hinge on the aggregation of marginal gains thanks to the enigmatic and incomprehensible HYPER-CYCLE. All details pertaining to recovery and performance will be constantly examined, corrected and optimised by HL88 to ensure riders have the greatest possible chance of victory. A fully tricked out HYPER-CYCLE will reduce hypermyotonia through refinement of the nervous system.
The front disc wheel promotes well being and contentment to all who will watch it spin by. This could be the most exciting and potent strategy for improving Team Vitesse performance in a very short space of time.
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