10.12.14

Campagnolo Gold

What every cyclist deserves at Christmas. 

9.12.14

Vitesse Training Camp Opens

Team Vitesse cyclists experience the joy of speed in this Johan designed 120 kmph trust exercise.

7.12.14

One Sleepy Dogster

Doggie downtime is very important 


Recovery Nutrition

Replete with fat, salt in the form of tamari, and engivita yeast for hyper recuperation action.


6.12.14

Santa visits the Lunar Cosmodrome

Enjoy the reindeer in space suits. 


4.12.14

Post Surgery Contemplation

In the post surgery euphoria, the problem of Cold Arm was mulled over. There is no dispute that Cold Arm has been an issue since the hominids roamed the Bering Sea-land bridge causeway. It is common knowledge that some form of the sleeved shirt evolved from the tunic (not shown in the foto). But the question remains, which came first, the short or the long sleeved shirt? 


24.11.14

The Woodlot Lounge Pant


The staff at WORC seem to know a lot about trees. And they know from comfort too. Put the two together and a pinnacle of style and secrecy is achieved with the WOODLOT Lounge Pant shown here modelled by bow tie_bob (currently recovering from knee surgery). All he needs now is the closest location of a Woodlot Lounge. 

20.11.14

ESD rests head on Hurtie

The Emotional Support Dog in action using the injured leg as support. 

17.11.14

Animal's Sixth Sense

George, ESA of Team Vitesse, seems to know something is different with his master. 


ESA at Work

George, the Emotional Support Animal of Team Vitesse, doing what he does best: being a big suck and lying on my bladder. Real genuine Zipper-like staples shown in background.


14.11.14

Confidence builder

Relief as the proof that the titanium was installed on the correct leg. 

Operation under wraps

Today the knee will be in use!  Looking forward to see the results 


12.11.14

Pre-op blues

Left leg to be repaired. 


7.11.14

Targeted Toaster Testing

HL88 Manufactory is busy this season with its annual targeted toaster testing. Testing toasters takes talent, something HL88 has in modest abundance. Each rider on Team Vitesse is furnished with a tested toaster for personal use at each stop on the 2015 Tour. Properly browned and tasty toast techniques take time to tame. Uncompromising quality conquers!


6.11.14

Pre-Op Equipment Requirements

As the date approaches for btb's total knee replacement, an equipment list has been released by the HL88 surgery suite.  This represents tools that the patient must bring to the OR. This requirement keeps the costs of surgery down allowing higher salaries to be paid to the riders of Team Vitesse, the professional cycling team sponsored by HL88 Manufactory. clicking on the images increases their size!




4.11.14

Consumer Alert

Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory realizes that the recent production of Tooche Bags were sold without its vital instruction sheet. By posting the Tooche Bag instructions on the popular cycling cosmonaut blog on the line, HL88 management ensures that all consumers have equal access to its wisdom.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.

WORC Brings Seasonal News

Lampo Bianco, Commander of the Western Oceanographic Research Cosmodrome (WORC), has submitted this stunning use of bicycles and ice.  He calls it "Pre-hipster High Velocity Frozen Water Cycling Classic".  The leader is Grampo Lampo digging deep with blade-tie_basil gaining with each revolution of the 3 mile oval.  

26.10.14

Team Vitesse Status Upgrade

HL88 Manufactory, at the insistence of Johan, has granted permission to upgrade George the dog (a.k.a. Georgie Boy, Poopsie, George the dachshund, Asshole George) from beloved mascot to George, ESA.  
In his new role as Emotional Support Animal (ESA) for Team Vitesse, George will be responsible for the emotional stability, balanced sense maintenance, moment to moment living and deep abiding love of food which are natural requirements of all cycling team members.  As a certified ESA, George will ride in the team car and be allowed to bark instructions and motivational messages at the peloton.  ESAs are given first class privileges on all aeroplane flights and is welcome to enjoy the same treatment as his team in most eating establishments. 
The idea of ESA came from bowtiebob and was sponsored by Lampo who admitted "as soon as the cheque cleared, George was certified as an ESA. That was pretty much the only qualification to achieve the vaunted status of Emotional Support Animal."

25.10.14

Late October Road Outfit

Now including berry protection!  

18.10.14

Christian Theme Room

Hanging in the bathroom, this inspirational message assists in all evacuations.

17.10.14

12.10.14

Did not see that coming

Ride to Fairhaven included flat windy sections testing the entire cassette.

8.10.14

Birthday Sock Wednesday

Lampo Bambino chose these socks for Lampo Bianco on the occasion of Lampo the Elder's birthday.

Red Lace Black Sock Wednesday

BIG Happy Birthday wishes to Lampo Bianco!  Westmount Cosmodrome staff believes this is the correct day to celebrate his birthday. 


3.10.14

Time to Slow it down

Bowtie Bob, the ever-loved fan favourite of the ProTour peloton might be revolutionizing training at the highest level of cycling sport once again. DRONE photos leaked during mid-afternoon dead flat training rides appear to reveal a simple but brilliantly effective method of obtaining marginal losses. 
By instructing his team mechanic

to re-position his rear wheel alignment in the dropouts to rub on one chain-stay, he instantly can dial out the amount of training resistance required for his ride. "It's like Hammering the Tourmalet all the way to the Westmount Cosmodrome" he beaked. Still and all, the method is highly controversial and BtB hasn't officially admitted that he is using this radical technique, let alone endorsing it to his freakish parroting fan base. "Our non-existant bike sponsor will loath the concept of rubber build-up on the inner face of chainstays" BTB opined. Fortunately, unconfirmed rumours of a new HL88 plywood chain have been circulating all day. No name has been made official for such a product, but industry insiders have muttered phrases like "RearSmear, Hummer, Plyguard." The day might come soon when every racer boy needs a chunk of plywood wedged between his rubber and his stick.

2.10.14

Faber Illustrations

Product illustrations from the A.W. Faber Company circa 1897.    (click on image to enlarge)





1.10.14

HL88 October Mission Statement

Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory will investigate and implement inefficiencies and more incomparable bucketization of measurable glide path management activity streamlining. 

Once that is completed we can begin the citizenization of forecast criteria and sentimentalization of crucial information strategies providing effortless challenge reduction. 
Then the happy good times can begin. 

29.9.14

Geese Gorge on Gluten

Geese enjoying a pre-flight gluten gorge on Farmer Jones' wheat. Time to dig out the studded tyres...this must be an omen that WINTER is coming.


24.9.14

Re-Branded HL88 Product

Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory is sensitive to criticism and after complaints surfaced concerning the name "Douche Bag" for the new under saddle tool bag, a rebranding effort ensued. 

Henceforth, HL88 Manufactory will present the TOOCHE Bag, a highly clever and intelligent amalgam of Douche and Tool.  

Pictured above is the Tooche Bag made specifically to Lampo Bianco's vaguely articulated specifications. HL88 is working on an instruction manual illustrating how to attach the Tooche Bag to Lampo's saddle. Note that high rollers like Lampo Bianco always travels with multiple $50 bills in his Tooche.

16.9.14

HL88 Cap Review

The long awaited Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory cycling cap has arrived! Made from the same excellent and unique PLYWOODIUM, the side panels ensure excessive speed coupled with superb insulation and brilliant transmutation properties. 

"Stylish yet effective" were the first three words out of bowtie_bob's mouth as he road tested the cap inside the Cosmodrome. "Honourably daunting yet friendly to the touch" were fourth through seventh words he uttered.  
These caps are available from the Westmount Cosmodrome for a limited time at the incomparably reasonable price of $25 CDN. 



15.9.14

Leica - OOH AH


Easily the most beautiful film camera ever made.

8.9.14

Johan's Checkered Past

During the 1960's Johan built up his quad muscles by street racing rocket propelled motorcycles. 

6.9.14

Cosmodrome Relax Chamber

Team members are allowed to decompress after extreme efforts by looking at the furniture.


4.9.14

Johan's Formative Training



HL88 - preparing to launch alternatives

1.9.14

New Cosmonaut Recovery Drink


HL88's Ply-Rouge Recovery:  chock full of robust recovery activation boldness and performance excellence.



31.8.14

Cosmonaut Sustenance


HL88 - maintaining potenialities through activation

23.8.14

Work continues at the Cosmodrome

Adjusting the radio contact system to keep Johan in touch with Team Vitesse.