26.10.14

Team Vitesse Status Upgrade

HL88 Manufactory, at the insistence of Johan, has granted permission to upgrade George the dog (a.k.a. Georgie Boy, Poopsie, George the dachshund, Asshole George) from beloved mascot to George, ESA.  
In his new role as Emotional Support Animal (ESA) for Team Vitesse, George will be responsible for the emotional stability, balanced sense maintenance, moment to moment living and deep abiding love of food which are natural requirements of all cycling team members.  As a certified ESA, George will ride in the team car and be allowed to bark instructions and motivational messages at the peloton.  ESAs are given first class privileges on all aeroplane flights and is welcome to enjoy the same treatment as his team in most eating establishments. 
The idea of ESA came from bowtiebob and was sponsored by Lampo who admitted "as soon as the cheque cleared, George was certified as an ESA. That was pretty much the only qualification to achieve the vaunted status of Emotional Support Animal."

25.10.14

Late October Road Outfit

Now including berry protection!  

18.10.14

Christian Theme Room

Hanging in the bathroom, this inspirational message assists in all evacuations.

17.10.14

12.10.14

Did not see that coming

Ride to Fairhaven included flat windy sections testing the entire cassette.

8.10.14

Birthday Sock Wednesday

Lampo Bambino chose these socks for Lampo Bianco on the occasion of Lampo the Elder's birthday.

Red Lace Black Sock Wednesday

BIG Happy Birthday wishes to Lampo Bianco!  Westmount Cosmodrome staff believes this is the correct day to celebrate his birthday. 


3.10.14

Time to Slow it down

Bowtie Bob, the ever-loved fan favourite of the ProTour peloton might be revolutionizing training at the highest level of cycling sport once again. DRONE photos leaked during mid-afternoon dead flat training rides appear to reveal a simple but brilliantly effective method of obtaining marginal losses. 
By instructing his team mechanic

to re-position his rear wheel alignment in the dropouts to rub on one chain-stay, he instantly can dial out the amount of training resistance required for his ride. "It's like Hammering the Tourmalet all the way to the Westmount Cosmodrome" he beaked. Still and all, the method is highly controversial and BtB hasn't officially admitted that he is using this radical technique, let alone endorsing it to his freakish parroting fan base. "Our non-existant bike sponsor will loath the concept of rubber build-up on the inner face of chainstays" BTB opined. Fortunately, unconfirmed rumours of a new HL88 plywood chain have been circulating all day. No name has been made official for such a product, but industry insiders have muttered phrases like "RearSmear, Hummer, Plyguard." The day might come soon when every racer boy needs a chunk of plywood wedged between his rubber and his stick.

2.10.14

Faber Illustrations

Product illustrations from the A.W. Faber Company circa 1897.    (click on image to enlarge)





1.10.14

HL88 October Mission Statement

Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory will investigate and implement inefficiencies and more incomparable bucketization of measurable glide path management activity streamlining. 

Once that is completed we can begin the citizenization of forecast criteria and sentimentalization of crucial information strategies providing effortless challenge reduction. 
Then the happy good times can begin.