29.12.11

Cycling Boots for Roubaix

During this holiday season, HL88 and manager Johan have not been idle. Johan has been sourcing various potential shoe sponsors for Team Vitesse. He believes that he has a firm deal in place for footwear to be utilized in the biggest and best spring classic, Paris - Roubaix to be run on April 8, 2012. After consulting an out of date farmer's almanac, Johan has assured himself that heavy rain and mud will be the order of that fateful Sunday in April. He has decided that all Team Vitesse riders will be wearing these fetching rubber boots. Designed in Denmark by Danes, and produced in China by Chinese, these magnificent wellingtons will no doubt be the talk of the peleton.

24.12.11

HL88 enters Prosthetics Market


Just in time for the holiday season, these life-like legs from Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory's "Hokey Pokey" line are just what you need for any celebration.

19.12.11

Bike fabricated from food

A little known factoid about North Korea is that it is a major powerhouse in bicycle production. Shown here, the late great dicktator examines a large root vegetable destined for the bike factory.

North Korean workers happily produce upside down bikes for the hungry consumer market.

Shown below, partially digested bicycles are carted away to the landfill, all in the name of the most excellent and great North Korean plan. In the tweet words of Steve Martin, "Kim Jung is no longer IL".

12.12.11

Euro Zone Euro Speak

"The path to development is not devalued money in the hinterland, but intellectual capital from the metropole. The key is not cheap labor but rich brainpower, the climate that will cause globals to inject the DNA of various businesses into the commercial life of southern European states". Doth quote Zarkozustra.

Translation: Buy more Italian bicycles and bicycle parts.

1.12.11

Eggplant - It's Official

If you haven't heard it yet, let cycling cosmonaut be the first to inform you that the eggplant has been designated as "Fruit of the Year" for 2009. The formal announcement was made by Steve Martin, recently beatified for his tireless work in promoting all things banjo.
Team Vitesse has been quick to adopt the eggplant's cause and is now soliciting funds from you to support ongoing work to raise eggplant awareness. You might be asking yourself, "How can Team Vitesse Ride to Conquer Cold Arm AND raise eggplant awareness"? Don't worry about it...we got this. We can because we are managed by the genius Johan and we blindly believe in his vision(s).