Johan's Duress

the embattled Johan continues to deflects USADA (United States Anti-Doofus Agency)allegations over the use of performance enhancing doofuses (doofi). Barry Hamlin will step in as interim director sportif for Team Vitesse. In the early part of his career, Mr. Hamlin became known for his successful management of a Burger Baron outlet in rural Montana. He will apply his considerable french fry knowledge to the Tour de France. "They eat fries don't they?" exclaimed the venerable industrial designer. Johan sees his absence from the cycling limelight as a temporary setback for the team. Lampo Bianco is quoted as bawling "I still believe in Johan!". Dr. K2 sounded vexed when he said, "What Will Johan Do?". h2o was more sanguine about the situation describing it as merely "a tempest in a haystack" and "an elephant under the rug".