Johan's Handy Lexicon of Racing Baggage

From time to time, Johan regains consciousness long enough to display his vast knowledge of cycling. Cycling Cosmonaut caught up with Johan during a lucid moment while he was immersed in memorizing the rules of cricket. Johan spoke from the heart and this is the redux of his rantings on racing baggage. He stressed that these aphorisms are to be used liberally whenever an excuse is required for either good or bad performance. They are based on the now infamous "suitcase of courage" which, Johan claims, was stolen by Phil Liggett.
  • hat box of hauteur
  • valise of vexations
  • bubble pack of biliousness
  • laundry basket of inactivity
  • envelope of envy
  • satchel of excuses
  • packing case of panic
  • attache case of apathy
  • man purse of motivation
  • grab bag of ingenuity
  • file folder of futility
  • thimble of sense
  • pallet of ignorance
  • chamois of shame
  • bidon of blues
  • musette of misery
  • derailleur of desire
  • handbag of heavy drop
  • purse of power
  • pocket of perfection
  • wallet of will
  • billfold of BS
No doubt Johan will produce more baggage allusions the next time he is back "with us" after running out of money at the casino of incomprehension.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Shouldn't that be "Laundry basket of lethargy"?