Mr. C Creates 2 Slugs

Today's ripper around the lake once again saw carnage. h2o set off on his trusty sled, Mr. C, and maintained a lung bursting pace until the unthinkable happened. Legs churning to gain the maximum benefit of a heavy drop on a downhill, h2o ended the life of a 3 inch long slug. The slug was neatly cleaved in two by the crabon wheel set equipped with schwalbe 28mm tyres. It is hoped that the slug felt less pain than being sprinkled with salt and left to writhe on the tarmac.

h2o is in training for what will be an epic showdown against his teammate and protected rider, Lampo Bianco. LB's low altitude training schedule of walking to his vehicle leaves the door wide open for h2o. He blew out some lung loogies on a short rippling ride with LB and h2o is now ready to capitalize on laughable languishing lung logistics.

Whoa R Bikes

It was with great sadness that I witnessed so many bicycles left to deal with the elements strapped to the backs or on top of vehicles in the rainstorm on Highway 1. Thanks to the sacrifice in comfort made by PE5GW and wiener dog George, Mr. Colnago got to ride inside the vehicle. Mr. C was most appreciative and Johan is considering a medal of commendation for PE5GW. 

After debarking the ferry, a quick inspection of the WORC was performed. Someone must have tipped off the staff at WORC because a newly painted sign hung over the entry to the palatial premises. Hat Model, mini LB and Lampo Bianco himself were among the dignitaries welcoming the delegation from the other cosmodrome. Gluten free snacks were consumed in celebration. "Very impressive" and "Holy Doodle" were just some of the exclamations uttered. 

h2o and PE5GW repaired to their executive yurt for the evening to enjoy goat milk slurpees.  

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One world, two wheels

Korean Style Pain Relief

h2o's cycling career has long been marred by injury. Yet he continues to reap victory after victory thanks to wily tactics such as the heavy drop and attacking in feed zones and during nature breaks. Recently, he has sought pain relief from a Korean mystic, recommended by Johan.

Low intensity laser treatment followed by hours of Johan's special "tough love" verbal abuse has drastically reduced h2o's complaining. Couple that with a kinesiologic tape job in the form of the Korean symbol of healing AND anarchy means that h2o has rejoined the professional peleton ready to rip it up (referring to his knee and the road).

h20 and PE5GW are preparing to visit the WORC (Western Oceanographic Research Cosmodrome) and h2o will be testing the tape against Lampo Bianco. Lampo, still fresh from his Ride to Conquer Cold Arm, has been training at low altitude and has been receiving regular inspiring voice mails from Johan. He will make a formidable opponent for h2o and his 1.5 legged riding style.

HL88's New Bag Inventory

When not testing plywoodium tolerances or investigating the menace of Cold Arm, Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory has been getting back to basics in the cosmodrome. In this case the cosmodramatic workers have been busy creating a new line of courier bags.

Shown above with the security detail are 2 of the shoulder bags now undergoing thorough testing.

Each bag may be wholly or partially waterproof having been lined with an orange plastic membrane. They are 100% guaranteed to have some blood of the maker spilled and dried somewhere in or on the bag.

This mondo unit even has an internal pocket plus it can easily carry one pair of trousers, one dress shirt, one medium sized lunch, a bicycle repair kit, one notebook, one lock, a pen and a banana.

Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory has always been concerned with branding. The great company is launching the bags under the brand HL88 VELO. Katchy and Kool n'est pas?

Closure remains one of the biggest obstacles to creating the ultimate shoulder bag. Shown below, HL88 is experimenting with shock cord and totemic animal buttons.
Production is expected to be ramped up due to overwhelming interest and low low pricing!
Do not hesitate to contact the other cosmodrome at h2o@cyclingcosmonaut.com to reserve your HL88 VELO bag today. Waiting time is already estimated to be 11 months.

CAFIB Q&A

I am shocked and dismayed to have to post a recent comment under "CAT 6 Racing Supported by Science".

"Is the CAFIB compatible with the "other" wrist decoration? You know, the yellow one that has"Lovestring" on it...."

Anyone who purports to follow this blog must realize the importance of fighting Cold Arm and the unifying purpose of the CAFIB. By its very definition, the CAFIB is an exclusive accouterments, whose plywoodium power trumps a pathetic yellow rubber band. To address the question from the misguided commenter, the CAFIB only enhances the yellow band but works best with unimpeded access to Within Power (i.e. screw the yellow rubber band).

The yellow rubber band in question springs from noble intent. Sadly its main proponent continues to deflect doping allegations. His defense so far is "I never tested positive" implies guilt. He should ask himself "What Would Johan Do?". Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory feels that his continued aversion to the truth only weakens the rubber in much the same way that sunlight desiccates plastic.

Corporate culture at HL88 embraces all dopers past and present. Plywoodium, the building block of the CAFIB, is strong like bull. From the pages of Johan's little red book comes this nugget: "Forgiveness is a dish best served with a CAFIB on each wrist."