Team Vitesse gobsmacks the Peleton

In developments that are certain to stun the cycling world, all members of Team Vitesse finished ahead of the Olympic Time Trial Champion, Fabian Cancellara, in today's Ronde van Vlaanderen. Team members were abandoned by their Winnebago support vehicle early on when it failed to negotiate a corner. The motorhome occupants quickly retired to a local cafe to enjoy the rest of the race. Without support or radio communication, Team Vitesse had to walk up the feared Koppenberg section of cobbles. They were in good company with Fabian who was also forced to walk having broken his chain. The Swiss champion quit the race soon afterwards. Team Vitesse continued for 500 meters, before prudently deciding that enough was enough. The Belgians had seen the Plycra. They asked themselves, what would Johan do? and collectively retired to the next cafe. The team can be proud in the knowledge that they abandoned the race after Fabulous Fabian. Strong Work Team Vitesse and Happy Lucky 88!