Wind Culvert tests blow away the competition

As Team Vitesse makes its slow, methodical and incremental progress around the Mediterranean panhandle, Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory has been busy improving the team's equipment. In particular, the famed Prosperous Contented Obstruction Blocking has received rigorous wind tunnel testing. The San Diego wind tunnel, where most other professional teams have been testing rider's positioning, was unavailable to our Happy Lucky 88 engineer. Instead, the testing took place in a large culvert joining 2 grazing leases in Southern Alberta. Once the cattle dung had been removed, the Prosperous Contented Obstruction Blocking was attached to a bicycle and placed in the "tunnel". Cigar smoke was blown over the ferring on a very windy day. Adjustments were made to the setup. The results prove that the Prosperous Contented Obstruction Blocking can improve all Team Vitesse time trial results. The Team has no concerns that minimum weight standards dictated by the UCI will be a problem. "Our time trial equipment is 14 times heavier than the UCI standards", boasted a Team Vitesse member.

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