Rumour of Sponsor Deal holds currency!

Ever since the October announcement that Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory would be the primary sponsor of Team Vitesse, other potential sponsors have expressed keen interest. Team Vitesse's standards of transparency in pre-race cockle testing make it a leader amongst professional teams. Couple this with the incredible product weaponry developed by Happy Lucky 88, and many podium appearances can be expected by the Team. No doubt the future success of Team Vitesse will provide an excellent ripe environment for exposure.

The breakaway republic of Terscheling off the northern Friesian coast of the Netherlands is currently courting Team Vitesse management for such exposure. It is unclear what, if anything, the republic of Terscheling has to offer.

ANNOUNCEMENT: Team Vitesse meeting

A Team Vitesse meeting has been scheduled for this Saturday at 0530 hours at the usual location. Johan will join us via video link-up from a brothel in Switzerland or the south coast of France. Topics on the agenda include:

1. Presentation of Johan's European expense budget.
2. Approval of Johan's European expense budget.
3. How often should we have our cockles tested?
4. Should the results of the "A sample" cockle tests be released to the press before the "B" sample is tested?
5. What kind of a deal should we strike with Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory as exclusive distributors of the SMEVEC line of products in North America?
6. Frank and open discussion of future Happy Lucky 88 products.
7. Alternate plan in case the Super Absorbent Rain Cape delivery is delayed at Customs.
8. Progress report on the SMEVEC prototype development.
9. Adjournment.

Please note that Johan is only available for a brief time necessitating the early call to order of this important meeting. Johan has insisted that his expense budget be placed first on the agenda. Whatever Johan wants Johan gets...

COMING SOON: the SMEVEC revolution

Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory, in conjunction with its pro sponsorship team, Team Vitesse, has been working diligently on the next generation of bicycling biofeedback information systems. The "Sublime Motion Elated Velocity Enlightenment Computation" or SMEVEC will be available to all levels of consumers in the very near future. The SMEVEC revolution starts with the entry level system called the SMEVEC 8. This incredibly exciting and innovative biofeedback monitoring system is capable of highly convoluted calculations of cadence, speed, and tracking of other important personal information. We are certain that the SMEVEC 8 will quickly become a must-have for all discerning amateur cyclists wishing to improve their performance through technology.

The "pro" model, called the SMEVEC 88T, currently being tested by Team Vitesse, uses the same proven plywood platform as the SMEVEC 8. The optional mini ferring, rechargable power source, improved capacity for obscure calculations and other important cosmetic improvements will make this device a dependable mainstay for all members of the professional peleton. Employing the use of patent pending technology, Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory will have a water resistant version called the SMEVEC 888T available in the spring of 2012 just in time for the London Olympic Games.

Both units have the ability to be fully integrated with the Prosperous Contented Obstruction Blocking ferring developed by Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory during the summer of 2008 and documented on this blog. As you have come to expect from any Happy Lucky 88 design, the Sublime Motion Elated Velocity Enlightenment Computation has received nothing but positive reviews from Team Vitesse members.

Please stay tuned for updates on the release of these and other momentous Happy Lucky 88 manufactory products.

Enquiries concerning testing procedures

Due to the avalanche of correspondence concerning Happy Lucky 88's cockle testing protocol, I have secured a flowchart/schematic from that company's Scientific Testing Laboratory of Manufactory. The experts revealed few details about the "Plywood Interface" except to say that "probing cockles for always goodness". Obviously there is nothing to worry about judging from Happy Lucky 88's exemplary track record of product development and quality.

A team member responds: I am pleased to see that Happy Lucky 88 has stepped up to put a plywood facade on cockle testing. Recent unrest in the cycling world seems to require big budget teams (and here I would argue that Team Vitesse is a team of such stature, for what we don't have in budget we more then make up for in plywood and the size of our cockles) to have strict testing regimes to ensure clean riding. Congratulations to Happy Lucky 88 for so splendidly interfacing their superior plywood product with our head scientist (or scientist head). Surely with all those wires it has to work. By also putting on this facade Team Vitesse can maintain the appearance of rigor why still actively recruiting riders such as Basso, Ricco, Schumacher, and Landis. Team Vitesse will need all the help it can get if we wish to enter next years Grand Tours. After all the only difference between us and a certain Texan is the presence of our cockles, and if size does matter we are looking to the top step of the podium! Yours, K2nees

Italian TV

It warmed the cockles and even the sub-cockles of my heart to see cycling on television while in Italy. I have no idea which one day race it was since my grasp of Italian is limited. I am certain that it was a race that Team Vitesse could have won if only we had entered...

I want to assure all 7 of my faithful readers that my cockles have passed all doping tests. These tests were administered under the supervision of Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory by trained cockle testing professionals.

Have blog will travel -- Honeymoon

Just returned from 3 weeks of holiday honeymoon glory divided between HOLLAND LINK and ITALY LINK. Follow the links to view a few fotos.

A saddle for all seasons

The European styling of this classic "Western saddle" is undoubtedly a trend we will see coming to North America. Built with an eye to speedy sleekness from lightweight materials, the versatility of this saddle is limited only by the rider's imagination. Whether it be long days on the open range during branding time or over the cobbles of northern France, cycling will become a delightful dalliance for the delicate areas of any rider who throws a leg over this baby. It is not so much a saddle for your bike but an old friend you get to sit on.

Sharpen your cycling skills

PRESS RELEASE:

Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory, in association with Team Vitesse, introduces their newest cycling creation. In their usual meticulous manner and after minutes of exhaustive testing, Happy Lucky 88 unveils what they like to call "Good Prospect Edgy Trainer". This device allows the rider to sharpen his/her riding skills while training on winter road conditions.

The secondary chain setup allows the operator the ability to sharpen knives, shears and scissors for extra cash.

Once again Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory's design team has given it 110%, raising the bar, taking it to another level AND making a line in the sand.

Introducing Happy Lucky 88's new designer

Since arriving in Florence I am greatly relieved to find that the frenetic pace of Rome does not exist here. Correspondingly, more bicycles are in use by all sorts of people. I had an opportunity to talk to Alberto, a self titled designer, who was dressed in grey wool trousers, a grey sweater draped over his shoulders complimented by a grey v-necked sweater. His rhombus shaped sunglasses hung, relaxed, at the bottom of the "v". He sat astride a Scamperelli single speed with carbon fenders in the same palette as his outfit. His finely coiffed hair appeared unaffected by the gusty winds. A cyclist looking this good, exuding the relaxed manner of a proven winner, possessing this kind of style, is exactly what the design team at Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory should employ. His design experience probably consisted of fetching coffee and croissant at Hermes in Paris. I suggest that Alberto could add a wonderful flair to the solid industrial style that is Happy Lucky 88's trademark.

Cycling in Rome

After 4 days of walking around the centre of Rome, i have only seen 4 cyclists insane enough to brave the crazy traffic. it is everyone for themselves on the road and it appears that only the most calm can ride a bike. one fellow (a business man) was tooling along an extremely busy via (street) with vespas and cars whizzing by. he may have even been whistling and smoking. this is the kind of rider that Team Vitesse is looking for! Serene and competitive at once. Smoking and whistling can only mean that he has incredible lung capacity.

As soon as he regained consciousness from a nasty spill after being cut off by a Vespa, I signed him to a one year contract.

from Rome, h2o