Once again the cycling world is abuzz with the latest doper to be caught. This time the silver medalist at the Bejing Olympics had CERA coursing through his veins while on the course. The disappointment in the pro ranks and its fans is palpable.
A spokesperson for Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory's Cockle testing apparatus asserts that, "The offender should have used Enhanced Power Output (E.P.O.) and its secret masking ingredient invisible agent D.O.P.E. A negative Cockle test is always guaranteed under the supervision of trained HL88 personnel. When will cheating cycling people realize that the Cockle test is a safe,cheap, easy, and somewhat unsavoury means to Happy Lucky results?"
Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory bears no responsibility for false claims from its products.