Top 10 Reasons to Buy New Road Wheels

A follow up to the widely read "Top 10 Reasons to Buy a New Bike" is the hotly anticipated "Top 10 Reasons to Buy New Wheels".

10. Wheel goes out of true on false flats.
9. Wheel goes out of true on bike stand.
8. Wheel goes out of true when I put on my kit.
7. My competition rides ______ and they look cooler than I do.
6. Wheel begins to quiver on Saturday nights before Sunday morning ride.
5. Motorcycle wheels do not fit on bicycles.
4. Carbon wheels look faster, stronger, more competitive than aluminum rims (but they aren't)
3. Fellow cyclist recommends wheels (that turn out to be crap)
2. After following advice from trained professional, realization comes that he has no idea how strong a pachyderm is.
1. What else would I do with this extra $2,000.

If you have been following this blog, you will know that I invented and have perfected the Heavy Drop. The Heavy Drop is a maneuver so devastating as to leave the peleton in tears and tatters. It involves applying extreme downward force to the pedals using all my heavenly joy poundage. Torque wheel load is beyond measurement and many rear wheels have succumbed. Therefore I apply all of the above to the search for new road wheels.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Shame, I hope that not me in #3 and #2!!
dr. k2nees