h2o Solos to Victory
It was a dour battle against a light wind and inertia today as h2o rode his heart out for Team Vitesse. The day dawned cloudy with an oppressive sense of anticipation. h2o would set forth on a epic ride for the ages. The friendly familiar roads turned angry and unrecognizable setting the stage for a struggle of titanic proportions. The billowing clouds of effluent from the vibrant petrochemical plants served double duty as backdrop and lung coating. Johan bellowed into his earpiece spurring h2o to trash talk himself to the top podium spot. Despite his tears of exertion, h2o was still able to identify roadkill as he churned his way up the continuous false flat. One ex porcupine and one ex chickadee were noted. Other breathing wildlife included 7 llama(s) and a flock of 7 geese. These counts, of course, are in direct violation of Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory's entrenched corporate bylaws stating that all random number occurrences must end in the number eight (8). No doubt h2o will suffer severe consequences for refusing to pad his wildlife counts. Picking up Johan's bar tab can be prohibitively expensive.