Vitesse HQ on the Rocks

Our on-board correspondent reports that the SS Wherethehellarewe, carrying the Team Vitesse motorhome, has run aground off the coast of Phoenicia. Using ancient marine charts photocopied at the British Museum, the skipper apparently misjudged the winds and was lured onto the rocks by a siren. There was no damage to the motorhome which was thrown ashore by the violent jolt. Some of the Team's equipment shifted in the container but no serious damage was done to those resilient plywood products including the Super Absorbent Rain Cape and the SMEVEC 88T. The team is now faced with a 6,500 kilometer training ride from Phoenicia's capital, Byblos, to Northern France for the Paris-Roubaix race on April 12.
Obviously if the ship's captain had used the revolutionary SMEVEC 88T with its patented GPS (Globe Positioning System), he would have run aground in a more contemporary location.

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