Time to Slow it down

Bowtie Bob, the ever-loved fan favourite of the ProTour peloton might be revolutionizing training at the highest level of cycling sport once again. DRONE photos leaked during mid-afternoon dead flat training rides appear to reveal a simple but brilliantly effective method of obtaining marginal losses. 
By instructing his team mechanic

to re-position his rear wheel alignment in the dropouts to rub on one chain-stay, he instantly can dial out the amount of training resistance required for his ride. "It's like Hammering the Tourmalet all the way to the Westmount Cosmodrome" he beaked. Still and all, the method is highly controversial and BtB hasn't officially admitted that he is using this radical technique, let alone endorsing it to his freakish parroting fan base. "Our non-existant bike sponsor will loath the concept of rubber build-up on the inner face of chainstays" BTB opined. Fortunately, unconfirmed rumours of a new HL88 plywood chain have been circulating all day. No name has been made official for such a product, but industry insiders have muttered phrases like "RearSmear, Hummer, Plyguard." The day might come soon when every racer boy needs a chunk of plywood wedged between his rubber and his stick.

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